Story Songs: That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be

Have you ever gone along with something simply because that's the way it's always been done? Of course you have. We've all followed the norm, at various points in our lives, whether it's the right thing to do or not.

That's how I interpret Carly Simon's "That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be." In this case, it's about getting married and settling down even though there are strong indicators that it may not be a wise decision. 

This heartfelt and melancholy song opens with the narrator walking through the living  room and notices that her father is sitting alone in the dark, smoking a cigarette, commenting:

 "I walk by, no remark."

Then the narrator walks past the master bedroom, where her mother is reading magazines: 

"I hear her call sweet dreams, 

But I forgot how to dream."

Then the chorus:

"But you say it's time we moved in together

And raised a family of our own, you and me -

Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:

You want to marry me, we'll marry."

Then the narrator reflects on her friends from college who are married:

"They have their houses and their lawns

They have their silent noons,

Tearful nights, angry dawns.

Their children hate them for the things they're not;

They hate themselves for what they are"

That's followed by the chorus.

And then the narrator views considers losing her identity despite the other person's reassurances: 

"You say we'll soar like two birds through the clouds,

But soon you'll cage me on your shelf -

I'll never learn to be just me first

By myself."

And in the end:

"Well OK, it's time we moved in together

And raised a family of our own, you and me -

Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be,

You want to marry me, we'll marry,

We'll marry."

Simon composed the music and Jacob Brackman wrote the lyrics of this 1971 hit, her first, which reached No. 10 on the Billboard Hot 100. She received a Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.

Simon, along with Carole King and Joni Mitchell, led the way in recording introspective and socially relevant songs. Vanity Fair magazine referred to them as "the rebel angels."

Simon, who still performs and records, turned 70 on June 25. 

"That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be" lyrics